Deep down I crave freedom from my own external controlled responses. By external, I mean my physical everyday being that is not bonding with my inner self and is influenced by the things outside of me in the big wide world.
I want to be free of the past and present external influences on my state of mind. Free of my automatic responses, (learned and conditioned) like my thoughts of traumas, standards, mistrust, self-judgments, resentfulness and more. I feel ashamed that I can feel and react with this state of mind.
I could blame my behavior responses and decisions on my upbringing, or on the way I was taught at school, college, the workplace, from what the media and society tell us. But it does not lead me to freedom. More like I am in a personal prison and dependant on the external to control the status quo and say it’s ok for me to continue as I am and that’s how most people are in the world.
This, however, prevents me from looking within. With courage, I can become aware of my feelings and responses. This happens when I am in a calm and open state of mind. I can bond with my inner self and be truly aligned and authentic. A place of freedom. At this point, I connect with a higher place of growth, have more compassion and gratitude which leads to an appreciation of self. Here, I do not need anything from anyone. My place where I feel freedom. My choice to bond with my inner self.
The picture above I took in a state of being. This enabled me to be mindful of everything around me.
One summer around midday the sun was warm on my shoulders and I watched the butterflies dancing in the field. I took out my camera and lay on the ground. I found myself melting into the ground, weightless with my head tilted. The grass was waving in the sun and this took me out of myself. I do not know how long for, but I came away feeling privileged and grateful for my connection with mother nature. I was warm and tingly. I shared such beauty and felt transported to another world for just those moments.
I would love to hear from you about your experiences and what your thoughts are about Freedom.
Love and best wishes Delly
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